A Statement...

Jumped Ship and went to Seattle!!

had a really great time at the Folklife Festival.
Got some great photos, will post when i get home.

what the hell am i doing? i hope i find a job when i get back
from Naraya at wolf creek. if i get a job before then i won't be
able to go...and since i ran into someone i know from the dance at folklife
(6000 people and i looked up and she was standing there!)
i think i am supposed to go!!

I choose to have love and humor....

Mei's last moments......

Mei was so passed out in the yard yesterday,....so cute.
the photo of her looking at me is probably the most direct photo i have of her.
Stella Maris took the photo of us on the porch right before we left.
Thank you SM...

I don't know, I don't know, I just don't know....

'nuff said....

"YOU ARE BRILLIANT, AND THE EARTH IS HIRING" -- Paul Hawken

(just a note; i edited a lot of this speech but left sentances intact...)

- Paul Hawken Commencement Address to the Class of 2009
University of Portland, May 3rd, 2009
By Paul Hawken

".......There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: YOU ARE BRILLIANT, AND THE EARTH IS HIRING. The earth couldn’t afford to send any recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done.

There is a rabbinical teaching that says if the world is ending and the Messiah arrives, first plant a tree, and then see if the story is true.

Inspiration is not garnered from the litanies of what may befall us; it resides in humanity’s willingness to restore, redress, reform, rebuild, recover, reimagine, and reconsider. “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice,” is Mary Oliver’s description of moving away from the profane toward a deep sense of connectedness to the living world. Rather than control, it seeks connection.

The living world is not “out there” somewhere, but in your heart.

The first living cell came into being nearly 40 million centuries ago, and its direct descendants are in all of our bloodstreams.

So I have two questions for you all: First, can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course........"

~Paul Hawken is a renowned entrepreneur, visionary environmental activist, and author of many books, most recently Blessed Unrest: How the Largest Movement in the World Came into Being and Why No One Saw It Coming. He was presented with an honorary doctorate of humane letters by University president Father Bill Beauchamp, C.S.C., in May, when he delivered this superb speech. Our thanks especially to Erica Linson for her help making that moment possible.

I love my community...

When ever I am feeling out of sorts I usually go for a walk.
I live in a pretty close knit part of town, I often see people I
know and or hang out with.

My ex-girlfriend who works down the street totally offered to go
with me on Monday with Mei. She knows Mei and thinks she is sweet.
(which she is. Absolutely.)

Then I checked my text messages and my neighbor also
offered to go with me.

My girlfriend didn't. She was too busy being mad at
me for making out with flowers....I feel so tricked.
She tells me its okay, and then when I do and tell her
about it (which she has asked for) she gets mad.

But, I do appreciate my friends.....

Gads.....i am so bummed out...
i made The Appointment today for Mei Mei.

its on Monday,the 18th at 5:30pm
if your reading this post,
please hold us in your thoughts that day
and time with gentleness and love
and follow through....

thanks
rS

Mei Mei....

oh man i am having a tough time trying to decide what to do.....

she is so sick right now, been on anti-biotics on and off for a while.
meds not working so good anymore....

i know she is suffering....i can see how hard it is for her to breathe, how
snotty her nose is...

how do you find the strength to do the right thing for someone you love
when you know that person isn't going to be around any more after that?

I know I keep making the "right" choices....

But Damn! I am not having any fun!!
I try not to curse my awareness these days, (not that i am enlightened or anything)
but sometimes it just gets in the way.

I wish I could be as free here in the city as I am on the land. Where everyone knows there are no attachments unless you want them. I am looking forward to the day when I have my own little tribe, and when I need love or snuggling, I can just ask.

I don't want some weird connection with a stranger. I don't want a one night stand.
I want to get to know a person, and if I find that we fit, then I would like to introduce you to my girlfriend and see if she
likes you too. And if we don't fit, well, you can still be my friend, right?

Right?!
People don't know how to be friends if things don't work out. At least that has been my experience.
I want to change that.

I am honest in my intention.
I am asking for what I need.
I am no longer holding resentment.
I am open in my intention and desire.
I am learning how to say what it is i am feeling and thinking.

Thoughts..

So I went to Beltane thinking I was going to do this ritual around honoring my feminine side. I talked to someone about it for a month on and off. We talked about it in the car on the way down.
The funny thing is I didn't have to do a ritual. It just came to me. It still comes to me. I let my self be a woman at the Gathering. And many other parts of myself as well. Today at work the guys flirted with me for the first time so it must show. Its easy to flirt with someone you don't speak the same language with. Or at least that is what i percieved.

Its hard balancing here. I wondered today if in my search for this balance i seek, i wonder if those two selves will stay isolated from each others lives or will it merge into one flow of being?
i talk as though i have two different persons living in me, but its not that. its a way of being and moving through the world.

coming back was difficult the first day after sleeping in my bed. mostly challenges from someone i don't even know. but in reading the prayer list i learned to greet it at the door smiling, that seemed to help somehow.

aren't the colors on this album pretty? l look at them and feel happy.

My birthson Isaac

Please donate to help Mei Mei

So my cat who has chronic sinus issues and breathing problems needs a chest x-ray
in order to determine what the problem is. I have been giving her anti-biotics for the last year or so
dealing with the symptom but not the problem.
I am a working class jane with little money to spare for such an expensive x-ray.
If you would like to make a donation, even if its $5 dollars,

Please call 503-285-7661 and ask to leave an amount for
Rory H. and Mei Mei.
That is the number of my vet here in Portland.
You can donate with your debit card over the phone and it will go directly to the vet.
Or you can stop by if you are in Portland.
Peninsula Dog and Cat
5313 N Interstate/corner of Emerson
Thank you so much in advance.
Blessings to you and yours.

Thoughts and Thanks around Beltane

I was and continue to be so grateful for all we do....

Even before I saw the Land in the day, as we arrived at night, I noticed how clean it felt. The working party crew really did a wonderful job preparing the Sanctuary for the Gathering. Thanks to Emily, Nyna, Sky and Chance for your hard work before the Gathering. If I didn't mention anyone, its because I didn't know you were there.

Thanks to Tink for being the Trash Queen! It was so organized and clean that I didn't really feel a need to do a sculpture to draw attention to our garbage.
It was like a lot of our intentions around what the Gathering should be like as far as trash and stuff got worked out before I even got there. I was pretty focused on my own intentions and I am so grateful that Tink had the trash scene under control. I hope lots of people took home a black garbage bag on their way out.

Thanks go out to everyone in the working ritual circle.
Thanks go out to Free Daddy and Morrigan-less-loss for holding and pouring the sweat lodge.
All the food queens and dishwashers...
The fire tenders, especially Tuni and MAz. All the wood cutters and wood gathers,

Thanks go out to those who made the barn so pretty during the dance parties.
Also thanks go out to those who created space in the back of the barn for people to work things out.

My heart is so full from this gathering. I am so glad I camped around other people!
I am so glad I allowed myself to express the things that I have been holding in my heart!
I continue to feel grateful and full. Although I am a bit worried about transitioning back to the urban world. but thankfully,
I live next door to someone who understands and will gladly give me a hug or head rub when I need one.

with a full Heart and puppy exuberance!
roran_Storms

Some photos from Beltane at Wolf Creek