Something I wanted to share.....

What is Queer Magic?
*
Queer magic doesn't just happen on the Full Moon.

It's not just about driving hundreds of miles out to the woods to
drum and chant wearing glitter and feather boas and flowing rayon
garments.

Queer magic is everything we do.

Whether we're digging a hole, touching a lover, building an altar,
making a website, or dressing for dinner—whatever we do with our
whole hearts is queer magic.

Queer magic drips from our fingers. It's the music that plays as we
move through the world. It's the divine creativity that flows through
us and makes everything we touch burst into beauty.

Queer magic comes from being "othered" in our sexuality and our
gender and our spirituality and our view of the world. It comes from
being told that we're freaks—and deciding for ourselves that's OK.
It makes us turn inside and to each other for guidance, instead of
to the TV and the government and the church.

Queer magic transforms sexuality from something hidden and
shameful into a transcendent force that pulses through our hearts
and out the crowns of our heads. It makes gender into sacred
masquerade, and shows us our divine nature in the mirror of our
beloveds' faces.

It makes us comfortable with transgression and paradox—living
antidotes to conformity and binary dualism. It finds us at home on
the threshold and in the grey areas. It lets us play together in a realm
outside of scarcity stories and hierarchies of dominance.

Queer magic often calls us to certain roles: artist, shaman, clown,
healer, witch, priest, diva. But whatever roles we play—however
flamboyant or modest our style—queer magic means expressing our
authentic selves in everything we do.

It's what makes us unique. It's what makes us human. It's what
makes us queer.

~Stella Maris(C.C.)

Going to be out of town

i am leaving tomorrow for the Wolf Creek to participate in the Permaculture Skillshare.
I will return Aug 3rd.
Till then'

Grrrr.

so i am leaving for a week starting sunday. i am really glad i get to go. i can barely afford to go but I am going anyway. Yah! Back to Wolf Creek. Whew. maybe i can find a bit of clarity around the Tree.
See you soon, with pictures of course.

My tattoo is complete

And just last night I thought to myself now that my tattoo is complete I shall use no substances. And yet my roommate offered me something and I am very tempted to smoke it.
I like it, but is it good for me?

I have had several people tell me they see the lion face in my tattoo. But guess what?!
That isn't a lion face. It is a spirit face and I haven't been told her name yet.
I realized during this tattoo that I have a lot of stuff I am not dealing with. Mainly by how I dealt with the pain of it.

Mei came home!!

I prayed that she had food and water and a safe place to be and this morning someone was knocking on my door to ask if Mei was my cat. Thank you Spirit.
I have always had a hard time with Mei as I learned after adopting her that she is very needy. I am learning to not be impatient with those who have bigger needs than what I am used to.
Thank you Spirit for bringing Mei back to me. I hope I am worthy of her trust.

Check out this free event this Satryday

Check out this highly groovy event happening this Saturday:

Water in the Desert
A Festival of Art, Ritual, Performance, & Ecology
Saturday, 07/26 1-9 PM
Peninsula Park (NE Albina and Rosa Parks)

I'm especially psyched about the Butoh version of Midsummer Night's Dream,
performed amidst the roses in Peninsula Park, and featuring Faeries and
friends of Faeries in the cast.


This year features a Butoh adaptation of "a Midsummer Night's Dream"
that consists of the most eclectic, stellar all-star cast! The
performance will be performed in the mazes of Roses, with an equally
Worthy DayStage full of wondrous and diverse treats. World renowned
Butoh Dance Company, Harupin-Ha (japan/san francisco) will be
returning again this year.

AND IT IS ALL FREE!!!

On the STAGE:
1:00 pm M.One (spoken word/trip hop/electronic)
2:15 pm The World?s Greatest Ghosts (power pop)
3:15 pm Miriam Burke (javanese court dance)
3:30 pm TeetH (contemporary dance)
4:15 pm Day of the Zombie: Zombie Rock Opera
5:30 pm Adam Hurst with Dominique Garcia

6:30 pm
Community Gathering, Observance,
and Procession to the Theatre

ROSE GARDEN Theatre:
7:00 pm Harupin-Ha Butoh Theatre
7:30 pm A Midsummer Nights Dream
a Butoh adaptation

The Mission of Water in the Desert is to create an annual, multi-
media, participatory event that is site-specific, free to the public,
and that both integrates & celebrates the power of Art, Ritual,
Performance, & Ecology. We are inspired by the spectrum of expression
from across the globe and the multiple ways that communities come
together to share in the human experience. Our intention is to produce
a festival of creations that are in dialogue with our natural
resources & rhythms, highlighting revolving contemporary social and
ecological topics, with a consistent emphasis on the essential element
of water.

Mei Mei has gone missing!

I am not sure what to think about it. Maybe she knows I can't take care of her and she is trying to find a new home. Maybe she is just sick and confused. The last interaction I had with her I had to give her a really big pill. She was not happy.
I love Mei very much, but I don't know how to give her all she needs. I hope she is okay.

What a nice party.

Jennifer's friends came over. All 3 of them. They brought a peach pie and some pasta dish that was yummy. Not long after they left, my friends showed up. They brought salmon, deviled eggs, chips and made snickerdoodle cookies in my oven. We sat around the wonderful fire pit my roommate created in the back yard and had a mellow evening.

Looking forward to going to Wolf Creek for 5 days. I hope I learn lots.
ciao for now
roran

not falling in the hole

Life is amazing and frustrating....

I didn't think I would actually get a check from the goverment. Amazing that it happened. I wonder if I will believe in the establishment more now that I have proof of it exitsting. hmmmmm

I am so grateful to be a part of a community that believes in Spirit and love and that we all have a choice on how we live our lives.
the frustration part comes from not implementing those changes and walking down the same road no matter how many times I fall in the hole. Geez! Time to walk down a different street. hmmmm. how do i do that? maybe when I find myself responding to a situation and I start to choose the response I normally do, I should stop and try something else.
i've "known" this in my head for a long time, but have yet to allow my heart to know.

hey.

something i wanted to share

I have been on a Naraya prayer list since I got back, and after I read this message I shouted out, laughed a little and almost cried with the recognition of my own feelings mirrored in my community. I have been feeling so restless with waiting for things to come together in my life. I didn't include the prayer requests with this post and I edited some parts of this message for anonimity and brevity but I thought it was important to pass along.
Blessings.




The synchronicities between them(prayers) is uncanny, revealing some underlying patterns. It is a confirmation of the global changes that are visiting us. It feels to me that Great Mystery is touching our lives in ways that have never happened before, especially for those who are the sensitives, the empaths, the ones who invite in change.
I realize that a number of us with eyes to see are feeling the disquiet, discomfort, unease.....I am getting that it is not only about our ever-evolving personal human lives, but it is also about big shifts in our global lives. While the disquiet may feel uncomfortable, it is still an auspicious sign that things are moving, and we are at a crossroads of sorts.

.....at this time of the Full Moon I encourage you to simply listen to how the winds are blowing, and perhaps a message will come to you. Perhaps it is about your life, but perhaps it's something much bigger. I think that what some of us are sensing is a foretelling of changes that have already begun. I am encouraged to read that both *** and *** are taking care of themselves and following their innate intuition and reconnecting with Mother Earth and the waters for guidance, healing and support!

May we pray that we take this opportunity to summon up our compassion and understanding for the brothers and sisters around us.... may we pray that we can reach out to the young ones and be the bridge that will lift them up on their journey to the seventh generation.

The crossroads we face is whether we will succumb to going numb to the personal and global changes around us now, or whether we can move and bend with them as the Tree of Life does when the winds blow. We acknowledge the feelings of disquiet and perhaps fear, but we summon up our courage to continue down our path by living in the now, redirecting the fear, and embracing gratitude for our connectedness to sustain and nourish us.

लूकिंग फॉर अ रीड तो वोल्फ क्रीक

Okay so that post title says Looking for a ride to Wolf Creek. i am not sure why it does that sometimes..cool looking though.

Greetings all you lovelys....
I am looking for a ride to Wolf Creek on Sat the 26th of July to go to the skillshare.
Not that much stuff to bring. Limited gas funds.
Thanks and feel free to repost.
Blessings
Roran

About Work

Well I turned down a job at Old Wives tales today. As some of you know I really want out of the food business. I turned it down as I know that the woman who owns that place is hard to work for, but I was really stressing about being able to pay rent/utilities so I turned in my resume.
Another reason I turned it down is I have a second interview at 1-800-got-junk. Thank you Mama Joey!! I would get to be a helper doing something I am already good at (finding stuff) and I would get to be away from food. The person who intereviewed me said it can be really gross sometimes but hey....I spent enough time in dumpsters to know what that looks like.

Done for now.
Roran

Tattoo

So I had him change a couple of things from red to black.
The next session will be the orange and yellow.
Yeah.

Check out this and other events at

WWW.Nomenus.org
click on other events.

Grow your own FOOD! Make your own things!!

PASS - Permaculture and Sustainable Skillshare Gathering

at the Wolf Creek Radical Faerie Sanctuary

July 27th - August 3rd, 2008

Calling designers, permaculturists, and earth lovers to an
intentional container for sharing sustainable skills and
designing Permaculture Systems
Sharing Sustainable Skills
Food Storage, Spinning, Tanning, Natural Building, Compost, Rewilding
Designing Permaculture Systems
Waste Management, Grey Water, Spring Water,
Integrated Food Systems, Alternative Energy

With gas prices getting so out of control our food supply is only going to get more expensive.
I think I should start learning how to grow my own food. I really wish I could live somewhere that is like a village and we all barter for our needs. I want to farm, do art and live simply.

Yah!Yah!Yah!

I don't know I don't know I just don't know.

Yeah, thats how life is right now. Trying to figure out what to do about work even though I have a part time job. Trying to figure out my relationship.....trying to figure out my gender issues.

on the other hand.

Got done with most of my new tattoo on sunday. Yah!! Yah!!
Axis@ritual ink is a good friend and a wonderful artist. I am sure he is really sick of my whining and crying but damn! it hurt!
I think that learning how to deal with that intense pain is a good thing. He got a new gun for tattooing and it was really nice.
It hardly makes any noise. I did notice that my skin was much more "welty" than previous tattoos but maybe that is because I let him tattoo me for 3hours.
Thanks Axis.
pix to follow. this site takes too long to upload pictures.

Pictures of my tattoo

The first one was just the line work. After about 1hr and 45min I was crying. Especially hurt in the middle.
The next one is some color. That hurt too but not as much.
Sunday I am having some more color added.
Ciao for now

Well I'm working.....

I got a part time job working Mon, Friday and Thurs at a vegi-comfort food place. Its call Vita cafe. Its on 30th and Alberta.
I went in for a line cook postion but knowing how much cooking stresses me out we talked about doing dishes instead.
I am grateful I will have some money to live on now.
Ciao for now

Updates on job search and letting my cat go.....

Well, things are looking up in the job search. I had an interview yesterday at Great Harvest Bread. It is downtown in the Yamhill Market Place. I also noticed this morning a posting on craigslist for the Cup & Saucer Cafe. It would be nice to work there as it is close to home and they have such good food and the people who work there are my kind of people. Of course I would want to work at the Killingsworth location. I also just got a call from Vita Cafe on Alberta. Not my kind of place really but I am going in tomorrow night to talk to the chef about some part time hours......I hope the place I get work is either the bakery or Cup & Saucer. Spirit will choose the right one for me.

On a sadder note.......
Well, Mei has been sick for a long time. It has come to the point where she needs medication everyday. Something I can't afford and just don't have the energy for.
Tomorrow Mei will be traveling to her next life. Please say prayers for Mei that she won't be scared, that she has no kitty anger or confusion around moving on. That it is an easy transition for her.
Mei is the sweetest cat I have ever met. She is so loving and cuddley. When I first met Mei last year she put her paw in the air sort of waving it and then touched her face with her paw. She really knows how to talk to people with out using her voice. She usually saves that for when she wants in.
Please say prayers for me, that I am doing the right thing for her and not just solving a problem. That I will be able to stay with her as she journeys on, that I can bury her in a good and gentle way.
She has been with me since February 2007 when I adopted her from a previous employer. She is 12 or 13 yrs old.
Just to let you know, I have thought of taking her to the human society, I even printed out the Cat Questionare. I could tell with all the questions that Mei would not be adoptable. Ideally she should have gone to a home with no other cats...


I wish I could find my data stick so I could post pictures. I know this post is a repeat for some of you but thanks for reading.