I miss the music

It was nice having the playlist in my page as it would load whenever I opened my page.
Did anyone have any problems from it?
Done working at the bakery for the week. Grr. Talk about disorganized. I think I may only keep this job long enough to get some experience in and then look for a baking job that has medical coverage. Other wise, it seems to frustrating to contemplate.
more next time
RS

Oaks Park

Well I had fun, he wanted to go back up.Turned right around to head up the ramp. Really only stopped when I said we had to wait in line again. But he was up to the challenge of climbing back.
RS
oh took off the music cause i was worried that a virus might attach itself to the music thread and didn't want my friends to get corrupted.

Feeling blue....

I was at work getting ready to get off for the day and out of no where I was bummed out and moody. Grr. I am really sick of this sort of thing.

On the up side.
Its funny how when you make a decision around something and things seem to move and flow. I saw someone I know come in to eat and asked her if she still had a studio for working out. I even told her that I don't make that much money but want to start working out. She said that was fine. So, going to call her soon.

I posted some moody music by Chopin while thinking about the rain and the ride to work tonight.

Ciao for now

aha! figured it out...

cool now i can share songs that i like with you.......
let me know what you think. leave a comment.
if you don't like the song just hit the pause button with your mouse or click on a different one.

a day off...

slept in this mornging. got up to feed the kitties.
caffine-ated sitting in front of the daily computer stuff. feeeling inspired to write, have yet to figure out what my medium is to write......

wishing i could post a song on this blog. rediscovered some Lucinda Williams.....her songs have touched me for a long time now........

got rid of my mohawk. didn't think it looked good any way........

did i say male bodied? sometimes i wonder if gender really matters at all. like born gender...who cares....its what you do with what you got.....me..i go from one to the other.. its not like water...its like water hitting rocks and then flowing around..

i read bear boy's letter today. i want to read it to my brother. to touch his heart.

lots of stuff to do around the house today. getting rid of some material items i have collected. i do that a lot. collect things and then get rid of them. i am a finder. always have been. i have found that i feel anxious when i have too much stuff. comes from living outside i think.

oh yeah........

I forgot to mention that I got a new job.
I work graveyard at a bakery 3 nights per week. I have to be at work tonight.
So far it hasn't been that confusing trying to work at night. But I tell ya..my sleep is sure getting tossed around!!

Still feelng pissy.........

So I know this is a public blog. But I am pretty lazy about writing in my journal. I have been trying to figure out how to write things but not write too much or get too personal. I guess it all depends on how comfortable I am about a stranger reading my blog. Since I randomly tell strangers things about me I don't see much difference.

I have decided to go back on meds for depression. I have also decided that I am going to call Reid Vanderburg and talk to him about my gender switching. Not sure yet how that is going to play out.
My girlfriend and I....well we are trying some things out and she doesn't want to know about them until after its happened and she doesn't want to meet the male bodied person I may be interested in....she would rather I see some one just randomly rather that someone in my community and I don't think that is right for me......
It is hard being bisexual. Maybe a person who wants both is just deluding themselves into thinking......
any body ever read this thing? leave a commment or something.

living in more than one dimension

in my dream i was a solider and i was a woman, i can remember setting traps for people, there was explosives but no guns. (was i a woman?) i remember looking through some mirror/telescope out of bamboo i had made and i saw the person we were trying to trap, he tripped the wire and there was a big boom. he was injured but not dead. i look over to the small cottage and wonder why he didn't stop there.

flash.......

i am standing on the wall over looking the area, my uniform is on. there is another solider standing not far away on the wall. his uniform is tan and there is an old gun slung across his back. there are trees and vegetation along and over the wall.
my lover comes bounding along the wall to give me a kiss. he is very carefree. he is wearing a uniform as well. his movements are free and flowing.
the other solider sees us kiss.

i am shot for loving.

funny dream.
all the uniforms are not from this time.

Isaac & I at the Park

Got to see Isaac today. Such a HAPPY guy. His mom's parents are visiting at the end of the month. Then maybe we all will go to Oaks Park and have some fun.
RS

Feeling Pissy this Morning

Went out to a show last night. A benifit for someone arrested during the Green Scare.
Crazy non music going on. Really irritated the person I am dating.

I am feeling like wanting to just tell everyone to go away. I don't have the energy or the patience sometimes to give to others in my life. Sometimes I think I am just being selfish and other times I think its a part of my evolution. Sometimes I feel trapped.
grrr.

feeling pissy.

My brother Tony

This is my older half brother. this picture was taken when I took him to go see gramma down in Salem. As I have been lying here trying to sleep to get ready for a working interview at 1am(yes its a baker position) I have been worrying about him and trying to figure out how to make his life better. My brother was adopted when I was very young. I am not sure how his accident happened but I know my brother was not born the way he is now. After many foster homes and group homes (I am angry my mother sent him away!) he now lives on his own in Longview. I am very upset as my brother is lonely, his house is not a home and no one has shown him how to do that. If you read this, please take a moment to envision my brother and surround him with love and light. Ask his angels to banish his daemons, pray for him to let forgiveness into his heart because it is eating him up inside. He spends what little money he has on beer and really cheap cigarettes.(man do they stink!) I saw him recently and he hasn't done laundry in a while. I don't know what to do for him except try to be his friend. It is hard, I don't know him very well. I just recently found him and the way he lives makes me very sad.
Please pray for my brother. That the people who are his support staff take care of him better. That they find in their hearts that he is not just another case number and really pay attention to what his life has become. His life has been one of many disappointments and I don't want to be another. Please pray that I can improve the quality of his life. Please pray that I can be the person he can count on. That I can love him no matter what. That he finds love and hope in his heart again. And joy.
Thanks.
RS

My sweetie & me in a river

This is at the Washougal Fish Hatchery in Washington. Wow! What a nice place to swim.Thanks Liam!!

Cobbing with Myshkin(Mitchken) at Gypsy Cafe

I did some cobbing on the wimmins land while I was at the gathering. What nice folks. There was also a show at their place. Wimmins music. hmmmm.
While I was at the gathering I learned about skinning deer, ate some deer jerky, learned how to scrap off hair from a deer hide, learned how to slaughter squab and quail and then ate the birds I killed. Yum. very tasty. I also fixed some things on the land, the solar shower floor had some holes. So did some bridges. Fixed those too. I hope to start a fund for the human compost situation at WC, but don't know how to get that started yet. I suppose a material list would be a good place to start. Till next time.RS

This is me at one of the many lovely waterfalls in The Gorge.
My roommate took this picture.
More pictures to come from visiting the Washougal Fish Hatchery

I am back from Wolf Creek

I learned some cool stuff but forgot to take any pictures. More later.