Spin Control

when my mother died, i didn't really get a chance to say goodbye to her. Same thing with my favorite Aunt, my elders said i was too young to go to Lois's funeral. I think I was 8years old. It would have been sad, but maybe death wouldn't touch me in quite the same way as if i had gone.
i don't know. i am not trying to minimize anyone else's experience. just trying to share my own.

i am sad for Mei. I miss her. i am also glad on a couple different levels. glad she isn't having such a hard time breathing. glad i finally was able to follow through, glad that i was able to say goodbye.

the death of my cat has taught me about gracefully letting go.

it also taught me that i still have a fight or flight response. i don't even have a word for what ever i was responding to.

all i know is that this thought has been following me around, poking at my brain.

i keep telling my self i need to spend time with my intentions for the upcoming Dance, and my head just spins away and my dreams are not remembered.

rS