I went down wanting to once again connect with my community and feel grounded in ritual. I brought buckets to the land for compost. I helped cook. I tried to join others in conversation. No one said thank you for the buckets. I did get thanked for rolling flat bread. Almost every conversation I tried to join I ended up feeling left out(no connection?)
I didn't connect with community or feel grounded in ritual. I left feeling regretful and like I missed something.
I did try. I even spent some time with myself this time. I do tend to just blurt things out at the wrong moment often but I felt as if it didn't matter if I was there or not. It mattered to me, but others didn't seem to care.
That is not why I go to the land. I probably won't go back for a while. Maybe to Naraya.
Should have gone to the procession on Alberta Street and ritual at Newberry House.
damn.
why did the person i had been writing to in Seattle and getting ready to meet have to be someones partner that I know and respect but don't want to cross that boundry with right now?
why did i let that matter so much that i didn't go?
Moving into my new place went smoothly. My boss let me use the van from work to move.
Yay! Not done with unpacking. Also have to move things around a bit as I realized this morning that I had put the head of my bed right next to the stairs.
feels good to have my own space. I hope my kitty likes it too. I hope she gets to like living in her own space. This morning she seemed lonely when I got home from work. She was sitting by the door when I got home, wondering what to do maybe?
ciao for now
roran
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