Just thoughts.....

Recently I told my therapist that I was not going to transition as I think with my history and age the health risks are just too great. I don't want to have a heart attack and its not like I can't be a boy in some other capacity. I guess maybe I wasn't really gender dysphoric just curious about what it would be like. I applaud those friends of mine who are trans who have gone after what they thought would make them happy. I just don't know if it would make my life any easier.
Although I am trying to change the way I interact with the world by trying to be of service more. Trouble is I don't get that many oppertunities to do so. I am reaching out to people of alternitive lifestyles and have met with someone for the first time. I am definatly curious to go back and try other things. I won't go into details lets just say I had a hard time reaching into the fridge.
It was different but fun.

Its all gloomy in NoPo today. I was going to go see my gramma down in Salem but I just don't have the money for gas. It sucks. She is like 83 or something. Sleeps a lot. I like to see her as often as I can. I would also like to be able to go see my brother up in Longview but again, no money for gas. Visiting him is kinda more important as my gram has lots of grand kids to come visit and Tony only has me.